The May Fishing Report
The fishing is hot East of the Mississippi right now. Many people are catching fish and others aren't. People are having the most luck fishing lakes, rivers, and streams. Below you will find some not so helpful hints to get outside and catch some fish this weekend:
Bluegill: The bluegill are either in a pre spawn, spawn, or post spawn pattern. Regardless, a cricket placed in front of their nose will be irresistible.
Bass: The bass are post spawn and can be caught on whatever they are biting.
Catfish: Large numbers of catfish are being eaten at the local fish camp. Look for cars parked on the side of the road due to the parking lot being full for your best bite.
Trout: The trout in the streams are happy and strong from fighting the constant floods all winter. Practice self defense when netting these fish. Their shoulders are as big as a Clemson offensive Linesman. Consider reinforcing your net with Kevlar to prevent them from making holes in your net.
Places to fish:
Canada, the Bahamas, Argentina. The best bite can be found anywhere further than a two hour drive from my location. No fish are biting near me, so it's not worth going. If you see me with wet waders in the back of my truck or a stringer full of bluegills, it is just an illusion.
If you are looking for a good place to fish nearby, try that river down the road. You know, the one in the valley where the water runs downhill. There is a place to park near there and the fish are biting on (redacted: executive privilege).
Good luck fishing this weekend,